25 Filthy Jokes

Filthy – but funny jokes.

1. What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years, your job will still suck.

2. Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.

3. Why did God give men penises?
So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

4. What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

5. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.

Rude jokes – How low can you go?

6. What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.

7. How is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend makes it hard.

8. Why do women have orgasms?
Just another reason to moan, really.

9. What do you call a guy with a small dick?

10. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Rude jokes – not fit for polite company?

11. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

12. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

13. What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

14. What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

15. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.

Rude jokes – like oral sex, it’s a matter of taste?

16. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

17. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

18. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.

19. What did the penis say to the vagina?
Don’t make me come in there!on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.

20. What do a woman and a bar have in common?
Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

Rude jokes – and finally…

21. What’s another name for a vagina?
The box a penis comes in.

22. What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

23. What do you call two jalapeños getting it on?
Fucking hot!

24. What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

25. How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.