Nothing fishy about these Mermaid jokes – Guaranteed pick up lines
Q. Why did the mermaid wear seashells?
A. Because ‘b’ shells were too small?
Q. What kind of bra does the Mermaid wear?
Q. Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet ?
A. On line!
Q. Which part of a mermaid weighs the most?
A. The scales!
Q. Why did the Little Mermaid look the other way?
A. Because the seaweed.
Q. What is a mermaid’s favorite song?
A. Salmon-chanted Evening!
Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: “double my I.Q” so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting Shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said: “triple my I.Q.” and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!” the fisherman said “yes” so the mermaid turned him into a woman.
An old guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender notices the guy has a head the size of a cue ball. “I hope you don’t mind me asking,” says the bartender. “But what happened?” The old guy sighs and starts to tell his story. “During the war, my ship was torpedoed by a German U-boat. I was rescued by a mermaid and she granted me three wishes. My first wish was to return home to the States. My second wish was to have as much money as I would ever need. My third and final wish was to have sex with the mermaid.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad,” says the bartender. “What happened?”
“Well,” sighs the man, “mermaids can’t have sex, so I asked her for a little head… .”