Trump pick up lines

Trump Pick up Lines

As if getting a girl to laugh at a corny pick up line wasn’t hard enough, try doing it in the voice of the president of the USA. These cheesy chat ups are currently doing the rounds so why not have a go.

A faded ginger wig may help but is not essential – and definitely NO ASS GRABBING!!!

“If you were Mexican, I’d oppose the wall.”

“Illegal immigrants may be stealing our jobs, but you stole my heart!”

“I’ll make your love life great again.”

“Don’t worddy, I won’t need to see your birth certificate.”

“Do you know what they say about men with big hands?”

“You can be pro-choice as long – as one of those choices is going on a date with me.”

“I couldn’t help noticing, but you have the mother of all bums.”

 

Good luck. GPUL.

 

top ten cheesy pick up lines

I thought I’d come over and say hello before you caught me staring.
I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
You look like my first wife. (Really? How many times have you been married?) Oh I’m still a bachelor.
Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.
Are you a fruit, because Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?
Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.
Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.
I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by YOU.

25 Filthy Jokes

Filthy – but funny jokes.

1. What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years, your job will still suck.

2. Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.

3. Why did God give men penises?
So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

4. What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

5. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.

Rude jokes – How low can you go?

6. What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.

7. How is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend makes it hard.

8. Why do women have orgasms?
Just another reason to moan, really.

9. What do you call a guy with a small dick?
Just-in!

10. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Rude jokes – not fit for polite company?

11. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-a-lotta-puss.

12. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

13. What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

14. What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

15. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.

Rude jokes – like oral sex, it’s a matter of taste?

16. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

17. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

18. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.

19. What did the penis say to the vagina?
Don’t make me come in there!on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.

20. What do a woman and a bar have in common?
Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

Rude jokes – and finally…

21. What’s another name for a vagina?
The box a penis comes in.

22. What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

23. What do you call two jalapeños getting it on?
Fucking hot!

24. What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

25. How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.