Rude or crude pick up lines – there’s a time and a place

Rude or crude pick up lines – there’s a time and a place

Hopefully, the over all impression you’re getting from this site is that any pick up line, whether it be rude, cheesy or cheeky is basically to help break the ice. If you take any line too seriously, then you really run the risk of sounding creepy, especially if you are using a line that is rude or dirty.

Think about it, if you approach a girl and say something rude like, ‘don’t tell anyone, but underneath these clothes, I’m completely naked.’ you’re really just saying, ‘hello, I have a sense of humour AND I hope you do too.’

Obviously a girl’s response to your suggestive chat up line is crucial as to what happens next, so you really have to be ready to handle whatever her reply is.

rude-pickups-guaranteed-lines-man

 

Reaction to a rude pick up line

Think about what her reaction to a dirty pick up line could be:

Is it?:

  • She is kind of amused and goes along with the joke –
  • She is definitely not impressed and is a little bit cold –
  • She is creeped out and feels a little defensive –

Reaction one – great, you’ve met someone who is open to humour, chat and likes a bit of harmless innuendo. This could go well.

Reaction two – maybe you didn’t necessarily say the wrong thing, you just said it at the wrong time. Either way you could claw back your little misdemeanour with a more innocent comment or by laughing at your own misguided attempt at humour. Being a bit self-deprecating or vulnerable can be an attractive quality so turn this situation to your advantage.

Reaction three – quickly show her that your not a creep, maybe apologise and laugh at your own stupidity. If someone is left feeling uneasy, maybe you’ve misjudged the situation. Maybe her friends aren’t around and she’s in a strange bar so feeling a bit self conscious so bear that in mind – i.e., maybe a rude pick up line isn’t the thing to say to a girl alone in park!!!

Best of luck

25 Filthy Jokes

Filthy – but funny jokes.

1. What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years, your job will still suck.

2. Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.

3. Why did God give men penises?
So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

4. What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

5. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.

Rude jokes – How low can you go?

6. What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.

7. How is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend makes it hard.

8. Why do women have orgasms?
Just another reason to moan, really.

9. What do you call a guy with a small dick?
Just-in!

10. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Rude jokes – not fit for polite company?

11. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-a-lotta-puss.

12. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

13. What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

14. What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

15. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.

Rude jokes – like oral sex, it’s a matter of taste?

16. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

17. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

18. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.

19. What did the penis say to the vagina?
Don’t make me come in there!on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.

20. What do a woman and a bar have in common?
Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

Rude jokes – and finally…

21. What’s another name for a vagina?
The box a penis comes in.

22. What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

23. What do you call two jalapeños getting it on?
Fucking hot!

24. What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

25. How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.

rude pick up lines of the week

This weeks top rude pick up lines from GPUL

Rude joke for the guy with sense of humour
I would love to tell you the joke about my penis… but it’s too long.

Rude joke for the (skinny) girl with sense of humour
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.

Rude joke for the philosophical
With great penis, comes great responsibility.

Rude joke for Aussies
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.

Rude joke if you appear in the movie ‘Anchorman’
Hey baby there’s a party in my pants and you are invited!

Rude joke for cheeky bastards
Are you free tonight or do I have to pay like the other guys?

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